The Greatest Love of All

 

When I was a child, I took several years of piano lessons.  My mom bought a piano book called Color Me Pops.  I used to sit at the piano in our living room and play through and sing the songs in that book pretending I was a beloved bar singer, playing for the crowd.  One of my favorite songs to sing out of that book was The Greatest Love of All, Before the Whitney Houston version. 

I would get to the chorus and would belt out, in my strongest voice, “I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadow/ If I fail, If I succeed at least, I have my dignity……..Because the greatest love of all is inside of me.”  I sang it like I believed it.  I sang it like if I sang it loud enough and strong enough, it would be true. 

The truth is, I have struggled most of my life with not believing I was enough.  I have struggled with loving myself.  I was an awkward child.  I beat to the tune of my own drum.  In many ways it was true that I did not walk in anyone’s shadow.  I did not follow any certain crowd.  I was happiest when I was outside playing in the woods, turning rocks over in the creek in search of crawdads, riding my bike and making ramps to jump, hitting the tennis ball against the back wall, or throwing a softball against the back wall.  I could entertain myself for hours in these ways.  I was not good at sports, I was not a gifted academic, and while I loved sitting at that piano and singing my heart out, I was not going to win a talent show. 

I am in a season of life right now when I am examining this struggle.  The struggle shows its ugly head in my inability to care for myself in the ways that I care for others.  The struggle developed into Co-Dependency long ago, probably starting early in high school.  Since that time there have been a succession of people who I have displayed co-dependent behaviors with.  I am challenging myself in this season to overcome these behaviors.  I am challenging myself to discover who I really am and what I truly believe.  To be honest it is an exciting journey. 

Yesterday as I was driving the words to the song intruded my thought space.  I try to pay attention when that happens.  Especially if it is a song I have not heard in a long time.  What is the Divine Spirit speaking to me through this song?  I have been going through the 30 Shamanic Questions with a friend recently.  The latest question was who do you want your higher power to be?  This is a question I have never pondered but I am realizing lately that I need to be able to define who God is to me.  I am growing more and more uncomfortable with the God that is portrayed in much or our Old Testament Scripture.  I believe the writers of those stories must have attributed things to God that were not of God, much like we still do today. 

I John 4:7-8 is one of the mantra’s I try to live by.  Beloved, let us Love One Another, for love is of God and everyone that loves is born of God and Loves God.  He that loves not, knows not God for God is Love.  I started reading The Color Purple today.  In the prelude to the book, Alice Walker, explains that the core teaching of the book is that she believes “God is everything.  Everything that is or ever was or ever will be.  And when you can feel that, and be happy to feel that, you’ve found that.   She further states that the Color Purple transforms God from a Patriarchal White Supremacist into trees, stars, wind, and everything else.  She goes on to explain that the book’s intent was to explore the difficult path of someone who starts out in life already spiritually captive, but who, through her own courage and the help of others breaks free into the realization that she, like nature itself, is a radiant expression of the heretofore perceived quite distant divine.”   Yes!  This!  God is love and that love is in ALL!  That love is inside of me and it is the Greatest Love! 

            I was reading another book today, The Incitement of Joy.  Low and behold within those pages was the mention of The Greatest Love of ALL.  That is the message the Spirit is showering me with right now.  The Greatest Love is indeed inside of me and you, and Everything!